Edward Trencom’s Nose by Giles Milton

December 31st, 2007

Edward Trencom’s Nose : A Novel of History, Dark Intrigue and Cheese
Giles Milton
392 p.

Pan Macmillan, 2007

Back cover blurb:

Edward Trencom has bumbled through life, relying on his trusted nose to turn the family cheese shop into the most celebrated fromagerie in England. But his world is turned upside down when he stumbles across a crate of family papers. To his horror, Edward discovers that nine previous generations of this family have come to stickly ends because of their noses.

When he investigates further, Edward finds himself caught up in a Byzantine riddle to which there is no obvious answer.

This back cover blurb LIES. I always get as upset when what is said on the back of the book isn’t what is said inside the book. Edward’s cheese shop has been on top of the cheese shops since the 17th century. And his world is turned upside down well before he stumbles over the family papers. When I reread this blurb now, I feel angry for being lied to. It is a bad thing, of course; all they want to do is sell books! And all I want is truth. I have a bit of a problem categorizing this book, but since there are extracts set in the 17th, 18th and 19th century I placed it under Historical as well as Humour. Though, admittedly, it wasn’t that funny. It was mildly amusing at times, but it wasn’t a laugh-party. And seeing as the Guardian claims it was a comic novel, I felt very disappointed.

I can really not make up my mind about this book. It is well-written, that much is true, if maybe at times a bit over-the-top. The end was completely non-understandable until you read the first five pages again. Milton had done one of those put-in-the-end-at-the-start-to-heighten-excitement. However, this just led to me thinking that Edward Trencom and his wife had been on a ski-trip to the Alps. And he hadn’t! HE WAS IN GREECE. THERE ARE NO ALPS IN GREECE. Or, there might be, but Edward doesn’t go to them. The story of nine of his ancestors are told, and I got so confused as to who is who that I had to stop and think about it for a long, long time. At the end there was a Hubert appearing, and you were supposed to know who he was. It took three pages before I figured out that it was a Hubert that HAD appeared earlier, but fleetingly. The characters and their names were a bit of a mess.

I didn’t really like Edward Trencom. And I didn’t think he was that believable, either. There was something about him - certainly not his nose, which really sounded quite pretty - that just didn’t resonate with me. There were also a number of sex scenes that were just really weird. I don’t care about how a middle-aged 1960s couple gets it on! I just don’t! I can do without. This makes me sound like I dislike sex scenes overall; that’s not the case. The case is that I want some sort of logic in it. Somehow, at least, it should be relevant to the story in hand. And how Edward Trencom has sex with his wife against a wall doesn’t feel as though it brings the story forward. And now that I think about it, I don’t think I really liked any characters. I liked the lawyer’s receptionist, but she was only in it for three pages. Which was a pity, I think.

It wasn’t a really easy book to read, given all the weird cheeses, characters and (I assume) witticism. Sometimes they were witty, sometimes they were… not. I don’t know what Milton’s goal was, really. Did he want to write about cheese, the Byzantine or something completely different? Everything was too fleeting to get a proper grasp on. The best part of this novel was when Byron was in it for a chapter. Lord Byron is the quite the hero and can save a lot of things. Unfortunately, he couldn’t really save this book.

ps. Happy New Year, the one person reading this thing!

Entry Filed under: English, Fiction, Historical, Humour