New Moon by Stephenie Meyer

March 13th, 2008

New Moon
Stephenie Meyer
594 p.

Atom, 2007
(first published 2006 by Little, Brown and Company.)

Back cover blurb:

For Bella Swan, there is one thing more important than life itself: Edward Cullen. But being in love with a vampire is even more dangerous than Bella could ever have imagined. Edward has already rescued Bella from the clutches of one evil vampire, but now, as their daring relationship threatens all that is near and dear to them, they realize their troubles may be just beginning…

Okay, I am going to admit it: what the fuck is up with everyone being head over heels for Edward bloody Cullen? Apart from being an insensitive jerk, he is stupid as well as heartless. Every time he was in the page I got a slight urge to rip out the pages. That should say a bit about my feelings for him. I almost committed book-massacre, and that is more or less forbidden to say in my house. But I withhold: I hate Edward. As an effect all I felt for Bella was that she was being stupid and self-destroying by letting someone so stupid so easily destroy her life. Now, the concept of being messed up after a break-up is completely understandable - after all, it is something I well recognise - but it is twisted and exaggerated, beyond any kind of belief. Or any kind of belief I possess, anyway.

Too add to this dislike, it isn’t even a particularly well-written novel. If I hadn’t been so extremely annoyed with the majority of the characters, I would have finished it in two days, tops. That’s with school work included. It is seemingly written without much thought about the beauty of the language. What metaphors and similies there are are pushed too far or too blunt. And the plot itself? Seriously, give me a break. A girl breaks up with her vampire-boyfriend, angsts about it forever and gets a best friend who turns out to be a werewolf. It then turns out that the vampire-boyfriend tries to kill himself from grief, and that the girl is the only one who can save him. SERIOUSLY. This is not Nobel prize material. It isn’t even acceptable plot. Had I written something like that people would look at me as though I was retarded and declare it the sovereign state of Stupidity.

I think I can name three things I actually liked in this book. Firstly, the part where Bella is too depressed to do anything. That was a little nifty, I must admit. Secondly, the vampire Aro was really funny. He was so over-the-top and ridiculous, reminding me rather of the vampires of The Saga of Darren Shan. (overall, though, I got Anne Rice-vibes from the coven overall. I have admittedly never read anything by her, but the point is that it is a little lame.) Thirdly, JACOB. To begin with, I was more than slightly in love with Jacob, because he was a dear. He seemed to genuinely care. However, then he turns into a bleedin’ werewolf and undergoes a very dodgy psychological shift, which, well, I don’t buy. But I guess you would understand that already? Still, occasionally he glimpes back again, which is very nice.

Admittedly, I might be a little too harsh - it’s half eleven in night. But I must admit that I… I more or less enjoyed it, but it wasn’t good. And I don’t know if I will read the later books. It’s not unlikely I will, because I’m a bit of a masochist, but honestly? If I didn’t, I wouldn’t suffer. And if I do, it won’t be in the next few months. I have got enough of Bella Swan as it is.

Entry Filed under: English, Fiction, Young Adult